“If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop and consider Mary A. Mullaney.” So begins an obituary of a cheery Wisconsin woman known as “Pink” who was born in Milwaukee in 1927 and died last week.
It’s funny and full of sound, if quirky, advice.
Loved it, except the part about kids who are picky eaters. The advice from my mother is more pragmatic. She would tell us: “Don’t have a prejudiced palate. Have a bite of everything on your plate.” And we did.
Among Pink’s helpful hints:
Never throw away pantyhose. Old ones are great for child-proofing cabinets, tying the toilet “flapper” and hanging Christmas ornaments.
If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay.
Let a dog (or two or three) sleep in bed with you. Say the Rosary while you walk them.
Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse and give it to your homeless friend after Mass.
Keep the car keys under the front seat “so they don’t get lost.” You can make the car dance by lightly tapping the brakes to the beat of songs on the radio.
Believe the hitchhiker you pick up who says he is a landscaper and his name is “Pete Moss.”
Give to every single charity that asks. Choose to believe the best about what they do with your money no matter what your children say they discovered online.
Take magazines you’ve already read to your doctors’ waiting rooms for others to enjoy. Do not tear off the mailing label, “because if someone wants to contact me that would be nice.”
“We wanted something that showed who she was,” Pink’s daughter, Maryanne, tells WAOW about her mom’s obituary. “We said how can we be like her and carry her ‘pinkness’ across.”
No, I am not going to repeat Pink’s advice on picky eaters; one can only hope it’s meant in jest. You can read the full obituary here. Pssst! You have to scroll down a wee bit to get to her obituary.